February, the month of Valentine’s. Candle lit dinner, romantic stroll and a cosy night in. You could say that’s perfect, but what if you don’t have a date?
For a year – almost – social distancing has been in place, meaning we haven’t been able to hug anyone. I want to hug my family so tight and never let go. I want my best friend to rest her head on my shoulder. I want to be close to someone, without breaking the law.
Lockdown Love; Learning to love Myself.
I’ve never been lucky in love, in fact I don’t think I have felt true love and I’m okay with that, because I’ve never loved myself. So often people enter relationships thinking it’s going to heal them and make them feel whole, but it only fills a temporary void.
For Valentine’s Day 2021, I don’t want to feel loved by anyone other than myself. For years I refused to respect and care for my body and mind until lockdown. I think most can relate with me that, being your own company, twenty-four hours a day, is exhausting. Here are a few tips on how to practice self-love.
- Put your needs first. This isn’t selfish. Whether you put a deadline before a move at night or politely turn away an extra shift at work, you need to be your own priority.
- As fresh as a daisy. How familiar does, ‘I’ll wash my hair tomorrow’ turning into the following week sound to you? Shower every day, moisturise your skin (a significant change for me) and change your bedding regularly. There is no better feeling than showering, putting on warm pj’s and getting into fresh sheets.
- Eat what you fancy. This is big. That saying, ‘You are what you eat’, is true. Balance is key; Eat pizza and pasta if it makes you feel good, but get those veggies in to see your skin glow.
- Get through the day. Wake up in the morning and get out of bed! Don’t stay in bed for hours scrolling through falsified Instagram accounts. Make yourself breakfast, pop a ‘choccy milk’ if need be, write three essays on the bounce. Making it through the light of day is self care.
Self-love is someone ‘ultimate’, in mind and soul. We look towards these people, only wishing we could glow like them, yet we can. British people are renound for brushing compliments under the carpet and for noticing flaws in innocent positions. ‘The weather is awful’, ‘It’s nothing, really’, ‘I’ll never get there’. Perfect isn’t a realistic state, but we can always try to better the good, the bad and the middle-ground.
Being the Main Character
Sitting in a cafe, head in books, background music, sipping a plant-based cappuccino is how I’d define my best self. Through the pandemic that has changed, encouraging me to focus on neglected parts of myself. It has made me turn hate into power; Rejection is an opportunity to succeed and then success the ability to step-up.
Bestselling novels don’t happen by coincidence. They happen, because the characters attract us, the readers. You are who you create yourself to be, which is why I’ve never felt true love. The not caring enough about myself resulted in me not caring about attracting love and happiness at all.
And in the words of Jane Austin.
“I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.”
Miss Heather Marie 